Don’t WANNA write!

Oh, god… I thought I was blocked a week or two ago.  I was wrong.  So wrong!  Ugh, I can’t stand my writing right now!  Every time I try to write I get itchy and can only think of all the other things I could be doing.

I know I have to fight through it.  Eventually it will get easier again, and then I’ll hit that beautiful moment when I’d have to cut my fingers off to keep myself from writing.  I know it will come back around again.

But right now.  Oh, god, everything I think about writing seems hackneyed and cliched.  My fingers fight me over every word.  I can’t concentrate.

Ahhhhhh!

I will make it through.  I will make it through.  I will power through it.  I will…. ooh, something shiny!  I should go investigate that!

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Patience…. patience…

I am not, by nature, a particularly patient person.  Honestly, I don’t think anybody is.  Take a look at any prepubescent child and you’ll see someone who will spend three hours whining about a fifteen minute wait.  But some people do a better job of learning patience than others, and I am not one of them.

Which is unfortunate, as I’ve chosen a profession that involves a great deal of waiting.

Oh dear lord, the waiting.

There is a lot for a writer to do in terms of actual writing, promotion, planning, blah, blah, blah.  The problem is that after the work there is an unending hell of waiting to find out if everything you did had any result whatsoever.

It’s maddening.  As in I think I’m going mad.

Patience.  Patience.  Got to be patient… does anybody have a deck of cards?

The Genre Thing

So, my publisher recently purchased an advertisement spot for my book.  Well, she purchased an advertisement spot for a bunch of the books she represents, one of which was mine.  It’s very exciting, the image of my book is about to appear in a magazine.  I’m kind of stoked.

The one thing that bothers me is that the magazine in question is a horror magazine.

My writing is, to my mind, much more comedy oriented.  Action?  Sure.  Adventure? Why not.  Fantasy?  Definitely.

But horror?  I mean, sure, my main character is a monster from nightmares, but it’s from his point of view and he really doesn’t see himself as horrific.  Okay, he kind of does, but… that’s not really the way it’s supposed to come across.

The thing is, I desperately want people to read my book.  Anybody, really.  I mean, I’m getting to the point that when the book comes out in print I may just run up and down the street throwing copies of it at people and screaming ‘read this!  Read it!’

But I’m a little worried about people coming to the book with the wrong idea in mind.  I’ve had plenty of times when I’ve read a book or watched a movie and been disappointed, not in the quality of it, but in the fact that it wasn’t what I was looking to experience right then.  Am I setting potential readers up for that disappointment?  And should I be worried about that?

My publisher is very horror oriented in most of her work.  She is, apparently, trying to expand into urban fantasy, and I’m glad she is, but a lot of the connections that she has right here and now are horror connections, and I’m a little worried….

In fairness, though, I’m always a little worried.  It’s my nature.  It’s why I take pills for anxiety.

Playing Catch-up on NanoWrimo

So, I’m already behind for NaNoWriMo.  It’s not a surprise.  I didn’t have a project that I was itching to dig into when the whole thing started, and now I’m setting aside some of the things that I’d actually prefer to be working on in order to keep pushing on the Nano project.  it isn’t something I’d normally do, but for me Nanowrimo is about discipline, and so I’m focusing on keeping committed to this one project.  Even though I don’t know where it’s going or how it’s going to get there.

Anyway, I’m already behind on it.  A few days behind.  Which isn’t terrible, but it is a little bit frustrating.  Mostly because I don’t have a good excuse.  I’ve got plenty of time right now.  I should be tearing through any project, even one I’m not overly excited about, but I’m allowing myself to get distracted.  I’m allowing myself to concentrate on silly things.

Just before this all started a friend asked me if I was doing nano this year.  I told her I was.  She said she wasn’t sure if she was going to do it.  She didn’t have anything she was excited to work on.  I told her, give it a shot anyway.  Really, what’s the worst that can happen?  Say you pick a project, write a chapter, then find yourself completely stuck.  So what?  You’ve got a chapter you didn’t have before.  I mean, you could allow it to get you down, allow yourself to get frustrated and resentful and angry, but when is that not a possibility?

Move forward, press on, take another step on your journey.  even if you fall on your face, hey, you’re a step closer than you were yesterday, and you had to take that step at some point, didn’t you?